This is the tale of neomorts, the hottest trend in recycling since someone decided to turn old tires into playground equipment!
Picture this: It’s 1974, and Dr. Willard Gaylin, clearly bored with regular old dead people, decides to spice things up by inventing a whole new category of corpses. Enter the neomort – not quite dead, not quite alive, but perfect for all your organ-harvesting needs!
These “newly dead” are like the zombies of the medical world, except instead of craving brains, they’re busy keeping their organs fresh for the next lucky recipient. It’s like a macabre version of a pick-your-own-fruit farm, but instead of apples, you’re picking kidneys!
But wait, there’s more! Neomorts aren’t just great for organ donation – they’re also fantastic for medical research. Need to practice your surgical skills? Why not try it on a neomort? It’s like a human-sized game of Operation, but with less buzzing and more ethical dilemmas!
And let’s not forget the economic potential! Imagine a world where hospitals have entire wings dedicated to these not-quite-cadavers. We could call it the “Zombie Zone” or “Limbo Land.” Think of the gift shop possibilities!
But the real question is: what do we do with neomorts when we’re done with them? Compost them? Turn them into eco-friendly furniture? The possibilities are endless and equally disturbing!
So, there you have it, folks. Neomorts: proving that even in death, you can still be a productive member of society. Remember, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When death gives you neomorts, make… well, let’s not think too hard about that.
Etymology
Coined by Willard Gaylin. Compare neo- and mortal.
Noun
neomort (plural neomorts)
- (medicine) A brain-dead human being that could be kept on life support for organ transplantation, medical and nursing education, and drug research.
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