Tag: Labor
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$50 Federal Minimum Wage Is as American as Apple Pie
HOLD ONTO YOUR CONSTITUTIONAL HATS because I’m about to drop a TRUTH BOMB that’ll shake the very foundations of our economic system! We’ve got CORPORATE PARASITES masquerading as job creators! These WELFARE QUEENS in Armani suits have their greedy mitts deep in the public coffers while their workers are left begging for scraps at the…
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The Constitution doesn’t guarantee the right to obscene profits
Today we confront a CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS of epic proportions! The so-called “minimum wage” has become a MAXIMUM INSULT to the dignity of American workers. And don’t even get me started on the FESTERING WOUND of modern slavery that continues to infect our great nation. It’s time to lance this boil and cauterize it with the…
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WAKE UP AND SMELL THE ECONOMIC LIBERTY!
Today we discuss the ECONOMIC LIBERATION of the American worker! The $50 minimum wage isn’t some pie-in-the-sky liberal fantasy. It’s PURE, UNADULTERATED ECONOMIC FREEDOM! Our Founders didn’t risk their lives and fortunes so we could scrape by on poverty wages. They envisioned a nation of PROSPERITY! Some lily-livered bureaucrats will tell you a $50 minimum…
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The Company Town (and another call for a fifty-dollar minimum wage)
The company town! That grand experiment in corporate feudalism, now reincarnated in the unholy trinity of penal labor, affordable housing, and the modern workplace. Let us embark on a journey through this cesspool of misguided benevolence and thinly veiled exploitation, shall we? From the textile mills of Lowell to the coal mines of Appalachia, company…
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On matters of predatory employment practices and a fifty-dollar federal minimum wage
Today, we confront a question that strikes at the very foundation of our Republic: whether businesses may profit at the expense of the liberty and dignity of their employees. Let me be unequivocal: NO BUSINESS is entitled to profit by trampling on the constitutional guarantees of freedom, fairness, and economic justice. The proposal for a…
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We’re not just tough on crime, we’re addicted to it
The 1980s and 1990s were a golden era for those who believe that the path to a just society is paved with prison cells and cheap labor. Let us embark on a journey through this misguided epoch, where the so-called “tough on crime” policies collided spectacularly with the age-old American tradition of exploiting captive labor.…
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Autacoids Unleashed: The Self-Made, Self-Destructive Hormones You Didn’t Know You Needed
What Are Autacoids? Autacoids (or autocoids) are the body’s DIY hormones—locally produced, short-lived biochemical messengers that scream, “I got this!” before promptly fading into oblivion. The term comes from the Greek autos (self) and acos (relief or drug), which is ironic because they’re basically the overachieving interns of the body: they do all the work locally, get no credit,…
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Education system as a conveyor belt to exploited labor and a Rube Goldberg machine of mediocrity (in the spirit of Justice Perplexity Scalia)
Let us not mince words about the TRAVESTY masquerading as our education system. It’s not a pipeline to prosperity; it’s a CONVEYOR BELT to exploited labor! We’ve created a Rube Goldberg machine of mediocrity that would make the Founders weep tears of bitter disappointment. Our schools should be bastions of intellectual rigor and economic opportunity.…
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One ‘n’ short of a unicorn
Welcome to the circus of UNICOR, where the government plays ringmaster and inmates are the unwilling performers! Picture this: It’s 1934, the Great Depression is in full swing, and FDR decides, “Hey, why not solve unemployment by enslaving prisoners?” And voila! Federal Prison Industries is born, later rebranding as UNICOR because nothing says “we’re totally…
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Reconstructing slavery again and again
The red flags indicate red flags. Any serious movement to abolish slavery must stand firm in its conviction that there can be no compromise when it comes to human freedom. All forms of slavery and involuntary servitude must be eradicated without exception. Throughout history, attempts to abolish slavery have been undermined by loopholes, exceptions, and…
