Tag: Mere Perplexity
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The Folly of “Teaching” Empathy
Empathy, that darling of the educational establishment, has become a ghoul that haunts our schoolhouses, devouring reason and objectivity with each passing day. The notion that we must “teach” our children this nebulous concept is as misguided as it is scientifically absurd. Let us be clear: empathy is not some magical elixir to be dispensed…
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On the Need to Turn Out High School Lawyers
For too long, public schools have been peddling pablum while neglecting the true essentials of a citizen’s education. It’s high time we revolutionize our curriculum to arm our youth with the weapons of knowledge they’ll need to navigate the treacherous waters of our legal system. Let us be clear: By the time a student dons…
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Some thoughts on medical tyranny
Let us confront the GRAND DELUSION that has befallen our medical establishment! Once bastions of reason, these white-coated charlatans have succumbed to a most pernicious affliction: believing their own balderdash. Gone are the days when a doctor could ponder life’s great mysteries over a fine cigar. No, now we are subjected to the tyranny of…
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$50 Federal Minimum Wage Is as American as Apple Pie
HOLD ONTO YOUR CONSTITUTIONAL HATS because I’m about to drop a TRUTH BOMB that’ll shake the very foundations of our economic system! We’ve got CORPORATE PARASITES masquerading as job creators! These WELFARE QUEENS in Armani suits have their greedy mitts deep in the public coffers while their workers are left begging for scraps at the…
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The Constitution doesn’t guarantee the right to obscene profits
Today we confront a CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS of epic proportions! The so-called “minimum wage” has become a MAXIMUM INSULT to the dignity of American workers. And don’t even get me started on the FESTERING WOUND of modern slavery that continues to infect our great nation. It’s time to lance this boil and cauterize it with the…
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WAKE UP AND SMELL THE ECONOMIC LIBERTY!
Today we discuss the ECONOMIC LIBERATION of the American worker! The $50 minimum wage isn’t some pie-in-the-sky liberal fantasy. It’s PURE, UNADULTERATED ECONOMIC FREEDOM! Our Founders didn’t risk their lives and fortunes so we could scrape by on poverty wages. They envisioned a nation of PROSPERITY! Some lily-livered bureaucrats will tell you a $50 minimum…
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The Company Town (and another call for a fifty-dollar minimum wage)
The company town! That grand experiment in corporate feudalism, now reincarnated in the unholy trinity of penal labor, affordable housing, and the modern workplace. Let us embark on a journey through this cesspool of misguided benevolence and thinly veiled exploitation, shall we? From the textile mills of Lowell to the coal mines of Appalachia, company…
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We’re not just tough on crime, we’re addicted to it
The 1980s and 1990s were a golden era for those who believe that the path to a just society is paved with prison cells and cheap labor. Let us embark on a journey through this misguided epoch, where the so-called “tough on crime” policies collided spectacularly with the age-old American tradition of exploiting captive labor.…
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Birth of the National Live Stock Association and a BBQ for the ages
It’s the wild and woolly 1890s, and the West is wilder than a bronco with a burr under its saddle. Cattle rustlers are running amok, fences are getting cut and ranchers are squabbling over land rights. But wait! Who’s that riding over the horizon, ready to save the day? It’s a couple of livestock bigwigs…
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This Mardi Gras of the West fizzled out like a wet firecracker in 1902Â
THE FESTIVAL OF MOUNTAIN AND PLAIN It’s 1895, and Colorado has just crawled out of an economic nosedive that would make even a seasoned rodeo bull rider queasy. What’s a city to do? Throw a party, of course! And not just any party, mind you. We’re talking a shindig so grand it would “eclipse anything…
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The Tale of William Byers and His Electrifying Adventures in Telegraphy!
Our intrepid Denver promoter wasn’t content with just slinging ink; he had to go and tangle himself up in wires too. William Byers spearheaded the first telegraph line from Denver to New Mexico, probably so he could spread his tall tales even faster! In a stroke of genius (or madness, depending on who you ask),…
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The Hot Sulphury Venture of a Frontier Huckster and Would-be Spa Magnate
“AMERICA’S SWITZERLAND” In the year of our Lord 1863, Byers, not content with merely shaping public opinion through his empire of ink, set his sights on the steaming waters of Hot Sulphur Springs. This wasn’t just any patch of bubbling mud, oh no! This was to be “America’s Switzerland,” a veritable Eden of therapeutic waters and…
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The Tangled Web of Hollenbecks and Jacobses That Haunt the Annals of Colorado History
Lo and behold, dear citizens, we find ourselves knee-deep in a veritable alphabet soup of Hollenbecks! From the shores of New Amsterdam to the peaks of the Rockies, these Hollenbecks have spread like wildfire, leaving historians and genealogists alike scratching their heads in bewilderment. Our tale begins with one Casper Jacobse Halenbeck, a Dutch carpenter…
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THE MYSTERIOUS TALE OF ESTES PARK’S EARLY OWNERSHIP
After Joel Estes bid farewell to his mountain paradise in 1866, the land changed hands faster than a deck of cards in a frontier saloon. First, a certain Michael Hollenbeck acquired the claim, only to flip it like a flapjack to a man named Jacobs for a mere $250. But the saga doesn’t end there, dear…
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Will the real Joel Estes please stand up?
In the year of our Lord 1859, while lesser men scrabbled for gold in the muddy streams of Pike’s Peak, Joel Estes, that cunning fox of Missouri, sniffed out a prize far greater than mere yellow metal. With the keen eye of a seasoned hunter, he ascended Park Hill and beheld a vista that would…
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EL CHIRADO – INDUSTRY, TEMPERANCE AND MORALITY (DEAR GOD)
El Chirado? More like El Ridiculo! Saddle up, pardners! We’re about to lasso ourselves a tale wilder than a bronco in a thunderstorm – the wacky story of the Chicago-Colorado Colony! It’s 1870, and a bunch of Chicago fat cats are itching to make their mark on the untamed Colorado Territory. Inspired by that old…
